Homemaking: Bridging the Gaps





The Titus 2 mandate is a lovely one. It calls upon Christian men and women to reach beyond their own generation, to take the hand of a younger one, showing them side-by side how to live, work, and function in the context of home, family, and community--how their conduct as Christians should please God.
But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Titus 2:1-5
For the Ladies, naturally, our primary "older woman" would be our own mothers. Other influential older women may also be grandmothers, aunts, and friends . However, as I've mentioned before, a gap exists between the women of old and the young women today. It seems with each generation born, the gap widens. With the major influence feminism had on society in the 60s and 70s, the culture shifted and women began leaving their homes in search of something society told them was greater: do whatever it is a man can do to prove your worth and place in society.

Problem was, God had already given both the worth and the place, but those were largely exchanged--exchanged, not accompanied by or added to, but exchanged--for careers, more education, monetary pursuit, promotion, and notoriety. Those pursuits mean less time at home, which means less time and attention spent on the home and those that dwell there. In recent conversations about homemaking with my mother, a working woman during my entire childhood, she said to me, "Stacie, the truth is, I can do many things, but how many things am I really doing well?"

In stepping out of the calling God had for the woman, you see the pull, the tug of war: women trying to be both things and in two places at the same time. Demanding freedom from the home, yet wanting to be the best wives and mothers they can be. Then we hear the phrases "super mom" who is the woman that "does it all" because she's been told "you can have it all." Funny thing is, you don't see the men (historically) trying to maintain their roles as husbands and providers, while also demanding to birth children and stay home to raise them.



In all of the commotion, the art and beauty of homemaking has been lost and undervalued in society. And young girls grow up to be smart, bright, and brilliant women, who don't know how to cook a decent meal, keep a home, or organize a day spent with their own children. More importantly, these women don't even realize the sacredness of the tasks set before them, how the home is a woman's domain, how she sets the tone and attitude, how home is where she creates a haven for her husband, and it's where she guides her children in right ways. Many don't understand the beauty of refinement that God brings forth in the day-to-day duties of home life.

I know, because I feel like I'm a late bloomer. I tell people that I feel like an "Eve" without a model for many of the things that come with the territory of being the wife and mother of a first-generation homeschooling family with 7 children. I am so hungry and thirsty for true Titus 2 encounters that I look for them everywhere. I want to know what the older women can teach me about loving and doing life with my husband, about raising children and loving my family well, how to bring about love and beauty and joy by the way I live and how I work with my hands right in my own home. Thirsty. Hungry.

So, what is the point in all of this?
We are all "older women" to someone, whether that is to our own daughters, or to the young newlywed bride, or to the new homeschooling mom. We should do more sharing of what we know rather than the selling of what we know. I get it. Writing a book or a making some income through blogging or vlogging is not a crime, and the Word does NOT forbid it. In fact, these are things I've considered myself. However, the basics of homemaking, the ins and outs of running a household, teaching how to love husbands and children....these things we are instructed to teach within the Body of Christ. I get so excited to see online workshops and courses for homemaking and learning to be a better wife and mother, because someone has taken the time to put information together, specifically targeting the Titus 2 mandate. . . .only to find out that I have to pay $30 or more to access the information. I'm thinking, shouldn't homemaking be free? 

Why are women able to capitalize in this way? Because there are women out there wanting to be shepherded and guided in this area. Because many of us are lacking these skills in our own lives and we need help figuring out what exactly we are to do at home (again, the generational gap) AND because many of the older women and younger women, in real life, aren't connecting with each other in our churches and communities. I have learned more about Christian homemaking, and its purpose before the Lord, from blogs, books and Facebook groups than I have from women in real life. Although I had/have great relationships with my grandmothers, mother, and aunts, I didn't know to treasure and seek out those qualities, characteristics, skills and such that would aid me specifically in keeping my home. It just wasn't emphasized when I was growing up, not even on the radar.


So, I'm seeking the Lord on what I can do to bridge this gap in a specific, tangible way among the women and girls I'm around. Still mulling it over, but I think it is imperative that we start somewhere in sharing the importance of Biblical womanhood and homemaking. And, that we can freely share, in love and in community with each other, as an offering to God.

My start begins with my own daughters. I have answered the Lord's call to blog here, not fully knowing the reason why when I started. Over time, many of the reasons have unfolded. In part, this blog is a record of sorts. It is a way for me to document this journey for my girls. One day, I hope my daughters can look at this and know that I tried hard to live out this call of wife and mother and that I stressed that importance to them. I hope my girls will see the beauty and sacredness of such a call and treasure it and not wish away the work and effort it takes to be diligent in their homes. I pray that homemaking is a labor of love that they feel equipped for and are ready to pass down to the next generation. And even for my sons, I hope they can look at this and cherish their own wives and have a great understanding of the importance and the blessing their wives will be in the heart of their homes.

I am grateful also for what I have learned from other women who blog and describe things down to the details on the "how to's" of Titus 2 wisdom. And, I am thankful for readers who have left comments and shared amazing advice, and for the lasting friendships I've formed with some of you outside of blogging. I also hope to be an encouragement to other women as I struggle and triumph my way through life as a daughter of the King, wife to one amazing man, and a mama to as many as God will give.


8 comments:

  1. So very encouraging Stacie. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  2. It's a privilege to be always passing down what God leans in to teach us, and always lifting our cup up to be filled by those who've already lived in the leaning. Yes, my blogging too is a record for my girls - may they embrace the labor of love and service ahead for them as well. near you today at Strangers and PIlgrims.

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    1. Yep, definitely a privilege. Glad you stopped by, Sue!

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  3. Yes, hungry and thirsty. I hear your cry. As first generation Christian, and first generation homeschooler, I have struggled with many of the same things. I don't know the answer, but suspect it comes partially in opening ourselves to the vulnerability of sharing our needs with those Christian women around us. And, of course, mentoring those whom God has brought into our lives. Somehow the latter seems easier than the former. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. Yep, it is a vulnerable place whenever we open up about needing help or what we may not know. But, I'd say, try to remain open ...the Lord has given me those moments in the most unlikely places. Thanks for stopping by and I will keep you in prayer.

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  4. Matthew 7:14....many people are on the wide path but the one that's narrow is the road you've selected. True life can be found on this road. On this road, you walk with your children and husband; and on this road you learn to be a crown to your husband and an "available drink" to your children.
    The road is available to both working and stay at home moms. The Christ centered Mom walking on The Christ centered road, will be blessed in her going out and coming in. God knows where we are and what is needful for the individual. Don't be sidelined by comparison. The ground is level at the cross.
    As women we have to beware not to buy into the worldly value system: celebrity, materialism, busyness, but offer up virtuous qualities. We have to know for ourselves, provision, patience and assurance. We need to build a good foundation in our children and exercise them in it so they can confidently pass it on in their lives.

    Now in every day terms....if you've chosen to be a work in progress at home, be thankful for the opportunity. Be grateful that your children are not indoctrinated to an adult schedule in infancy. Be grateful that you are privileged to teach your values to your children, and exercise their strength in those values before they meet with the ways of the world. I loved the fact that I could detect a "flea" that attached itself to my child. And because I had full custody every day, I could address any infestation; and most times, knew where it originated from.
    Be grateful that correction begins with you. You have time to determine, without outside influence, the most effective ways to bring about change in behavior.
    1-I told you;
    2-get to stepping
    3-I'm up and consequences are with me!
    You have the privilege of your child's eyes being on you. And when your children have been learning at your feet, they can see in their peer group, behavior and actions that are not acceptable. Generally those children are the ones you don't want your children with anyway; but should they have to, like we all do, because you taught your own and exercised them in obedience, highlighted some of the pitfalls, your children can boldly walk away and get themselves to safety. Safety is not only a physical thing --safety can be a correct way of thinking-and a correct way of thinking can keep them safe.
    High school is just as important as well as college. Not because you have to babysit them or make decisions for them, but a continuing relationship with you, and some access to you at inconvenient times, can keep them from falling or plunging too far.
    Those little butts you wash today will soon be washing themselves. And when that happens, you will know if you raised a stench or a fragrance.

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    1. I am so eternally grateful for the opportunity to guide my children in right ways here at home. I totally agree, there is life on this path....glad about that. Thank you for your insight as my husband and are have seen glimpses of the harvest yet to come concerning our children.

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