His Wife, Their Mother

How does a woman define herself? Is it by her career choice, coffee flavor, the color of her hair, or her educational background? We hear it all the time: I'm a book-lover; I'm a coupon cutter; I'm a lawyer; I'm a teacher; I'm a go-getter. . . .I've heard it all with drive, pride and gusto.

Me? When people ask, what do you do--in other words, how do you define yourself--I say: I am a wife and mom, and I homeschool my kids. Immediately, there is a shift in the atmosphere, hope and expectation deflated.

The questions swirling around in people's minds (which usually come right on out of their mouths) when I give my answer: Just a wife and mom? Is that IT? What else do you do? You can't be serious that your husband and kids DEFINE you? Really? You're okay with that--with being home with your kids, ALL day, while your husband is the one who gets to work? How can you do that every day? What about your education? Are you using it? Don't you want a career? Will you ever send your kids to school or go back to work?


My girls when they were 2yrs. and 7 mo.
Flash back, 10 years ago. My oldest was 7 months old. When asked if I was a stay-at-home mom, I'd say: "I am now, but I'm getting my Master's degree." or "Yes, but I'm in grad school, too." There was no way in the world that I would let anyone define me by JUST being at home with my baby girl. And homeschooling was completely out of the question. At the time, I fully intended to send any child I had to school, any school, just not homeschool. And, do NOT even think of defining me with terms like "house-wife" or "homemaker," which suggest that I am financially dependent on my husband. Don't. you. dare.

When I look back on my attitude, I cringe. Whew! What a work the Lord is doing in my heart. I am so grateful for the godly women the Lord placed in my life at just the right time to kindly show me a different way. I am humbled and so grateful for the opportunity to have the home as my domain.


Fast-forward and now I ask myself, what is wrong with being defined as a wife, a mom, a homemaker, a home educator, a house wife, his wife, their mom? I gladly accept all of those titles and I feel just fine in using them to describe myself. Why?

It is what God has given my hands to do. It is what He gave me time for. To pour out my life for my family, as an act of worship to Him. Each day that I give, it draws me closer to Him, because I realize I can't do any of it in my own strength. I need the Lord to show me how to be a blessing to my family.


The Lord has shown me how my marriage, parenting, and home life are ministries for His glory. In my marriage, my husband and I are to reflect the character of Christ and His relationship with the church; to show that delicate balance of sacrificial love with honor and respect. As a parent, I am to mimic the love that God has for me as His child with my own children; to love, nurture, train, discipline and guide them. And in my home life, I have the awesome opportunity to witness to my children about the love of Jesus, to walk out this Christian journey before their eyes, to show them that when Mommy fails, I turn to God, and He is there to lift me up--while cooking, cleaning, diapering, teaching, and cleaning and cooking again.


In those day to day, sometimes mundane, routine tasks, the Lord is present, rooting the selfishness out of my heart. Oh, ladies, it is a struggle at times. The flesh wants "me" time, alone time, quiet time, adult conversation, shopping sprees, coffee with friends, and the like. The flesh wants to not have to teach the concept of reading, or using the potty, or changing diapers, or reminding kids about manners, or serving a husband a hot meal or taking the time to do and say the same things over and over. BUT, when I yield to the Holy Spirit and lay down my wants for the good of my family, it far outweighs my fleshly desires. I must keep eternity in mind and realize the time that I'm given as wife and mom will effect future generations until Jesus returns. Oh, may I responsibly use this time for His glory!


So, my name is Stacie, I'm a wife to one and a mama to many. And with God's precious grace I stay at home working hard to respect my husband, raise and educate my children, and be a keeper at home, daily.
My kiddos!


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20 comments:

  1. Amen. There is so much joy in being obedient, isn't there? Your kiddos are adorable!:). Blessings!

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    1. Yep, so much more than I expected.

      Take care!

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  2. Hi Stacie!
    Such a wonderful reminder.
    Thanks for including my blog and my daughter's blog on your blog roll. :)
    Blessings,
    Jen

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    1. Hi Jennifer,

      Thanks. And of course, you're welcome! No problem at all.
      Take care, Jen!!

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  3. Beautiful Stacie! I struggled with this too. God really opened my eyes last year. I am sure He gave me the teaching opportunity at just the right time so that I can better focus on His desires for me instead of wondering. Thanks for sharing your heart!

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    1. Thanks, Latonya. I'm thinking that lots of women struggle with this, which is why the Lord would have me share this. I'm glad you are focusing on His desires for you--such freedom!!
      God bless you!

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  4. Bravo Stacie! You have the most wonderful job in the world. And what beautiful kids you have! (I left you a message at my place) ;) You are doing a wonderful job! (I hate to call it a job, it's a privilege, although I know there is work involved!) I wish you could adopt me, LOL!

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    1. Thanks, Kristin! I'm going to check out your reply. You're a sweet blogging buddy, and of course you can join the family! LOL
      Take care.

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  5. Beautiful, Stacie. My daughter meets the same attitude. I love that she's proud that she's able to stay home and be mama, create a well-run household and "praise her husband in the gates."

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    1. Hi Pamela! I think it is wonderful that your daughter is embracing her role in the home.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. In our area, I feel quite the opposite shame when I say that I do work out of the home...many women look down on me and imply I'm not serving my family well by meeting our financial needs. I was a single mother for many years and my choice was to work or be reliant on charity and government. I am confident that I chose wisely and remain confident that I am doing what is best for me and mine.

    I would have loved to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, but that is not the journey on which the Lord put me.

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    1. Hi, Missy! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment about your experiences.

      I don't think that other women should look down on you. Those of us who stay at home should never become prideful about serving our families in this way, as God is the one Who should receive the glory.

      Take care, Missy!

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  7. Well said my daughter!!! I am so proud of you and your accomplishments. I am so thankful that you have an ear to hear what God has for you to do.
    And let us be not weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Galatians 6:9. Your're doing a great job!!
    Love you,
    Mom

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    1. Hey, Mom! Thanks for your sweet words. . . as always!!!!! Thank you and I love you for the encouragement.

      -Stacie

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  8. Stacie,
    Thank for this post. It was a word for me in due season. I am still a work in progress(: As you said, it is a "struggle at times" but with God, we go through and are changed.

    Take care Lady!!!

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    1. Hey Gertha!!!

      I am gald that you were encouraged by this post. It is just truly the way God has worked in my heart. All things are possible with God. Glad to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Talk to you soon, Lady! :)

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  9. Hi Stacie,

    I found your blog via Time Warp Wife...and I am so glad I did! Thank you for allowing the Lord to speak through you in this post. It is so refreshing to hear your heart and passion for loving your husband and displaying the gospel through your marriage (thanks for not leaving that vital part out!), as well as your heart for training your children in the way they should go.
    I have just begun the journey of motherhood (my son is 4 months old), and feel as though I would love to have you as a friend and an example to look up to if we knew each other in person! :)
    Love the verses you used in this post -- all of them have been very challenging/encouraging to me over the past several years.
    Your sister in Christ,
    Andrea

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    1. Hi Andrea,
      I am so glad you stopped by to leave a comment. Thank you for such kind words. Congratulations on your baby boy and welcome to motherhood! May God bless you and strengthen you on the wonderful journey of being a wife and mom.
      Although we don't know each other in person, we can still be friends! And, I would encourage you to continue to seek God and ask Him how to walk out the path He's set before you.

      Take care and I hope to be in touch.
      Your sis in Christ,
      Stacie

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  10. Amen! As usual, you have said it beautifully. And I really enjoyed your mother's comment--reminds me of a lifeverse of mine: "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 1:4. Blessings to you and your lovely family! Gin

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    1. Hey, Gin.
      Thank you so much. Isn't my mom sweet? :)

      God bless you and yours as well. Take care and I'm glad you're back to blogging!

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