Us moms, we are different from our husbands in many ways, as it should be. Different tones of voice, different in stature, different in our mannerisms.....we bring different dynamics to the atmosphere of the home.

So, it should be no surprise that our husbands' teaching and parenting styles are different from our own. But somehow, we are still surprised.

In my own marriage, I've learned to embrace my husband's way with our children, rather than criticize him at every turn. Nope, his style is not mine, and nope, I probably won't ever bear hug our children down to the floor, while tickling them mercilessly, only to have them come back asking for more. Not quite my style. But one thing is for sure:
God chose him to be the father of our children and equipped him to fulfill that task. I have to let him live that out before God, without badgering him to do it my way.
Another thing I've learned is that, whatever is dear to my husband, chances are he will use it as a means to teach the kids. Some husbands are number-crunchers, others hunt or fish. Some husbands build things while others play guitar. Whatever it is, it is likely your husband will use it to get his point across.

My husband is a former college football player, with a coaching minor. His teaching tool: sports, athletics, fitness, physical activity....however you'd like to phrase it. Now, although I knew this about him before we were married, and cheered for him to score in several football games, I didn't really know until after marriage.

I had no idea that he ran miles per day or did that many push ups and sit ups at a time. I'd never heard of a 3-count jumping jack or ever exercised until my stomach hurt. My husband would seek out tracks, fields, and stadium stairs for running and training. After his football days were over. He still does. My idea of fitness is to do an aerobics video or spend 20-30 minutes on the elliptical. Yeah, big difference.

So, when we had children, naturally for him, he would share this with them. Initially for me, it seemed foreign, awkward, and made no sense at all. But over the years, I've come to realize how much wisdom my husband is sharing with our kids, while they're sweating and running in an open field.

They're learning specific sports skills and how to keep physically fit, but they are learning so much more. Hard work. Dedication. Pushing through the pain. How to fall and get back up. Confidence. Mental is greater than physical. Progress. Patience. Grit. Determination. Teamwork. Don't quit. Togetherness. Encouragement. Loyalty.

I've listened as my husband has connected what he's teaching them with what they have to face in life. Sports skills become life skills, how worthy things take commitment and time, that consistent work must be done. Don't give up at the first sign of adversity, but keep the end goal in mind.

Maybe I've learned a few things myself.

Trust your husband, even if it is the opposite of the way you do it. God gave children fathers for a reason.

What are the ways your husband teaches? Does he use a hobby or skill to do it?

Also posted at Our Homeschool Forum.

How Does Your Husband Teach?

by on Friday, November 18, 2016
Us moms, we are different from our husbands in many ways, as it should be. Different tones of voice, different in stature, different in ...

I think most every homeschooling mama has been there. You've found the perfect Science series for your daughters. It fits right in with your Classical education style, it goes along with the History period you're studying, it has experiments and diagrams and has a good emphasis on scientific vocabulary. Actually, this was my experience with my girls a few years ago. It was theory....on paper.

I just knew it would be a winner, but it wasn't. The information was organized in a way that was different from how my children think; it didn't flow well for us. So because the information was disjointed, it effected my girls' learning. But, I was determined to make it work!

I highlighted key words, people, and phrases. I "sticky-noted" pages left and right. I gave further instructions on how to complete each assignment. I mean I tweaked and tweaked as much as I could because after all, I paid for it, right?


The more I tried, the worse it got for my daughters. One was just completely lost. Looking back on it, I know she tried, but she was overwhelmed with the number of tasks she had to do each Science class. The other began to see Science as a subject she didn't enjoy. Instead it was nothing more than a box to be checked off of a to-do list. So, she would complete assignments satisfactorily, but was unable to explain what she learned.

Frustrating for all involved. This happened during my early years of homeschooling and I was afraid to try something else in the middle of the school year. Even though it was clear to me that switching to a more suitable curriculum was what we needed, I froze. And we struggled our way through Science that entire year.

Reflecting on that time, here's what I learned:

It is wise to let go of the "perfect" curriculum if it isn't working for your family. I'm not talking jumping ship at the first sign of difficulty without trying again. I'm not suggesting that you don't give the curriculum due diligence. However, if you've done what you can to make adjustments and they aren't working, then changing your plans is best.

Struggling through a poor curriculum choice is a terrible learning experience. I could see the disinterest in my girls' eyes every single time we pulled the Science books out. This from girls who run outside with an insect encyclopedia to identify the butterflies in the back yard or who wait in great expectation for Ranger Rick magazines to come in the mail. I could no longer get them to engage, which meant little satisfaction in the learning process.

Make the necessary changes guilt-free. One of the best reasons for homeschooling is being able to tailor my children's education. Yes, I spent money on the curriculum. Yep, it should have worked great with my teaching method. But  I should never have felt bound by either of those things. I have access to flexibility and a ton of wiggle room in homeschooling that I can't be ashamed to use.

I'm learning to relax. Teaching from a state of anxiety and stress is not healthy, not for me or my family. The world wouldn't have exploded if I had taken a couple weeks off of Science to find a more suitable curriculum. There wouldn't have been a gaping hole in their learning had I switched to something else. In fact, my girls probably would have learned more if I'd given them that time to explore the backyard and research things on their own.

Here are two truths someone once told me that help me "keep calm and carry on" with homeschooling: 1) I have 18 years between birth and college to teach my kids what they need to know. 2) I can't teach my kids everything there is to know about everything. That perspective is freeing.

Hopefully my experience is helpful to you on what to do (or, what not to do) if you find yourself in a similar situation. If you've already faced something like this, how did you overcome it?

Also posted at Our Homeschool Forum.
Powered by Blogger.