In January of 2011, my husband and I made some decisions. Some new, some uncomfortable, some unpopular, but all exciting because they were the same--we decided to let go. . . let go of control, which my dear Husband has always said is nothing but an illusion. As one song says, "leave things up to Him Who is capable of knowing that victory is in His name!" Victory is in His Name, His will, His plan, His ways, His timing, not mine.
We forged ahead, without plans. It was difficult, it was uncertain, it was hard--what is this strange land of leaving things up to Him Who is certainly more than capapable? We decided that we would praise God and be all the more thankful for the children God has given us. If He said 3 children was it, then thank You Lord that we have 3 children. If He said we could conceive again, then thatnk You Lord that you are allowing us the opportunity. We even thanked God (as crazy as it sounds) for the baby we lost, along with all of the struggles and for the pain. Thank You, Lord. We asked forgiveness for our inconsideration and ignorance, our thoughts when couples had no children yet, being so consumed with our own growing family while others grieved over the loss of a baby, or were unable to conceive. We couldn't see because we were self-focused--too much me, not enough Him. . .You can finish reading the conclusion of A Mother's Confession: Of Sorrow and Joy (Part 2) and how God blessed my heart with joy at My Joy-Filled Life.