What About the Children?

As wipe crumbs from my kitchen table, I am reminded of my children, my little olive plants that sit around my table. I am reminded of how precious they are. I don't mean precious in a "aren't they cute?!" kind of way, but precious as in sacred, extremely special, not to be taken lightly, a serious responsibility. It has occurred to me that so often we under-value children. . .their worth, what effects them, our influences on them, what they learn from us, what they "pick up" along the way. We are their examples, their teachers, whether we want to be or not. Whether we want to accept it or not, we are teaching them something, good and bad.

There is a not-so-good situation going on within our extended family. It concerns a family member and so I will keep the details private at this point. But it effects the children of our extended family. Not only them, but my own children, no matter how much my husband and I try to shield our children from this situation, it still has some effect, simply because we are family.

It bothers me because the "situation" is recurrent, not a "one and done," but again and again. I've had to remain daily in prayer. . .not to judge, not be hypocritical, not to criticize, not to condemn. I am struggling with this. And I cry out to God, "What about the children??? Do they not see beyond themselves to realize what the children will go through? The questions the children will ask? The brokenness they will feel? This is real, God, so real." I find myself recalling the Scriptures about a Christian household, the dynamics of family life, why the husband is covering and leader, why the wife submits and keeps order, why children are a blessing, the ministry that God calls husband and wife to as parents. . .do they not see this?!?!!?

Then the sweet Holy Spirit (thank You, Lord) steps in to remind me: "Stacie, you are not perfect. Stacie, there was a time when you were misinformed. Stacie, you have matured over the YEARS to BEGIN to understand what I want from you with your family life. Stacie, you have failed, repeatedly with some things, yet My grace remains for you--why not for 'them'? Stacie, pray for this situation, don't just be merely frustrated. Stacie, listen to your husband and use this as a teaching moment for your children, not as a moment to be judgmental. Stacie, pray without ceasing. Stacie, I'm trying to use you as an example in this situation. Stacie, you still are in need of my love, forgiveness, grace. . . ."

So, I'm praying, for the adults, for the children, for the "situation," for God to work it out for good. I'm praying that God would season my tongue and that I can be used for His glory, not my own. I pray that I would forgive and not be angry. I pray for myself as much as I pray for "them" because we all need His grace.

Lord, teach us to care for Your children in a way that is pleasing to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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  1. Dear Stacie,
    There is so much wisdom here. Sanctification moves us to the place where what breaks the Father's Heart breaks our heart. There is so much your children will learn watching you walk through this situation faithfully. Your utter dependence on Him, the investment you are making in those going through the situation through your prayers and love, your chosen position to remain under the head and covering of your husband, your grief over the destructive nature of disobedience, etc., will teach your children so much. Allowing His Perfect Love to cast out all Fear will show them the Source of Peace. May He hold you close to His Heart as you walk this path. May He grant your husband much Wisdom & Discernment. May He give you Joy as your fulfill your role as a bearer of burdens. May He use your precious family to shine Truth and Love into the darkest corners. May He be Glorified through all you think, say, and do. You are such an inspiration, dear one. :)

  2. I forgot: I LOVE your new blog template!! It's adorable!! :)

  3. Hi Stacie,

    Life is hard. People don't always do what you would like them to do and will disappoint you; as we will them. I am so very thankful for a God who will quicken our spirit and continue to perfect us according to his will. I'm in prayer for you and your family. I miss reading your blog so I had to come and visit(: Take care lady!!!

  4. Anne,

    Thank you for your wisdom and for the prayers you've offered on my behalf. I can feel the power behind your words and I know God is at work. . . may He be glorified.

    Thanks for your friendship and mentoring of sorts!

  5. Gertha!!!!

    Hey lady! Thanks for the reality check: people don't always do what I want them to do. So true! But I know the Word of the Lord is true and I'm praying that we would do what God wants us to do.

    I miss you and your blog, too! I hpe all is well with you and yours!


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