The Truth About Valentine's in My House {Valentine Marriage Challenge--Week 4}

How does Valentine's week unfold in your household? Are your expectations high, hoping your husband will amaze you with precious jewels and gorgeous flowers? You know, just like the commercials? I can hear them in my mind, "Every kiss begins with K!" Well, I will share with you what Valentine's Day is like in my home.

But first, let's start with what the challenge is for this week: reclaim the "passion" that is meant specifically for a husband and his wife. As I mentioned last week, it is a sweet gift from our Heavenly Father, meant to be enjoyed under the covering of marriage, by husband and wife.

At any time, any of us can get stuck in the daily norms and routines of life . . . and the passion begins to fade. Let's make some sparks fly, on purpose! Light a little love fire in your marriage! Plan to be available to your husband this week. Make him feel special, regardless of what he may or may not do for you, especially on Valentine's Day.

Now, here we go. . .confession time!!

Early on in my marriage, for several years, I was always disappointed on Valentine's Day. I expected flowers or jewelry or balloons and candy or sweet smelling perfume, coupled with a nice dinner out (yes, all of these things). These were the automatic, ingrained expectations I brought to our marriage. Any time my husband didn't deliver to the extent I felt he should, you know--something worthy of bragging about to my friends--I would pout and be unappreciative. What a slap in the face to a good man, a very good man!

Fast forward some years of being a wife and learning my husband, I realized my error. What I learned about my husband is that he'd rather not sum up our love for each other on one day out of the year, which just has to be represented by things, certain things. Instead, his perspective was that we should love each other deeply and intentionally and be appreciative all year long. Talk about a lesson learned!

Understanding his point of view has helped me keep my expectations realistic. That doesn't mean that my husband is a cold, loveless, or thoughtless man. He's quite the opposite. But I understand how falling victim to the commercialism that surrounds this holiday (and many others) can prompt me to make him feel unappreciated. So, I started to intentionally look for the little things he does to declare his love for me on a daily basis, rather than waiting for a few days out of the year. And guess what my friends? He declares it often and sincerely.

No, I don't receive flowers every day and I don't have a jewelry box full of diamonds. What I do have is a husband, a man of God, who loves me deeply and is never ashamed of that.

So, what about Valentine's Day? Well, it's more like a regular day for us, with just a few extras. We do something small for each other: a card that says EXACTLY what we mean, not just a card in order to "check the box"; a surprise of something that's our absolute favorite: strawberries, a favorite meal, a sweet love song. I've come to treasure these moments so much! Now, if he ever wanted to throw in a night out on the town or some pretty jewelry, I'm sure I would accept. However, I'm no longer holding him to an expectation that is not realistic for my marriage. Instead I am embracing the gift I already have. . . the gift that is my husband.

Happy Valentine's Day!

{{Repost from 2/12/13, Valentine's Challenge}} 

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