Wanting to hold her hand. . .
Wanting to hold her hand, as she has held mine.
Wishing I was there to wipe her tears away, as she's done for me.
Wanting to brush her hair back, just like she did for me.
Wishing I could touch her face and pray over her, the same way she prays for me.
Wanting to shoulder the pain she's in, the way I know she'd do for me. . .without hesitation.
It's hard when you're miles and miles apart from a loved one who's not at their best. . .
Even harder when that loved one is your mom. . . my mom, Mommy.
She'll be okay. As with anything, it could always be worse (so thankful!). Her prognosis is good, it'll just take time and God has been so faithful. . .
But still, don't we as humans just want to jump in and become superheroes and make everything "perfect" in our own way, in our own timing?
I knew the surgery was coming up, and I just didn't think I would react this way. . .I want to fix it. My mom is not the "sickly" type, and I didn't realize how big a soft spot there would be in my heart. How can I fix it?
But, the sweet, Holy Spirit is here, gently nudging me, "Stacie, Stacie! You are not in control, you are not in control. You love your mother, but you are not in control." Thank You, Lord. You are in control, please have Your way during this time.
For all of you who feel inclined, please pray for my mom, for recovery and for healing; our family greatly appreciates it.